So maybe there are certain limitations to what you can do with a computer - but if ever there was a time to be close to each other with thousands of miles apart, now is it!
Long distance relationships are such a controversial topic that when we received this e-mail question, we thought we just had to publish the answer for everyone to see.
"Dear Vin,
I'm going to be moving quite far away within a couple of weeks. So far in fact, that visiting each other on a regular basis would be prohibitively expensive. Maybe once or twice a year at most.
Should I just break up with her here and now and save us both a lot of suffering, or is there hope that our relationship could survive this ordeal and - just maybe - come out stronger than it ever was? I'm willing to try long-distance relationships, but quite frankly I have no idea what it would entail, nor do I know what the chances of success are...
Thanks for any help!
Adrian from New York"
Adrian, you're not the only guy out there facing this problem. Sometimes our education or professional lives take us far away from the people we care about. Other times, we're wondering whether meeting people online who live in other countries is worth it, with a faint hope in the back of our mind that maybe we'll get to meet them one day.
There used to be a time when the only means of long-distance communication was through old-fashioned snail mail. But with current technology, you can both hear and see the other person as if they were right next to you. If ever there was a time when a long-distance relationship was most likely to succeed - now would be it!
I've been where you are - and it can work!
Speaking from personal experience, I once found myself in a similar situation, even though I never thought I would. I cared quite a lot about the other person, and I wanted to give it a go. Good thing too! Because it turned out to be one of the most mutually beneficial and successful relationships that I've ever had.
But, like most ventures, in order for your long-distance relationship to have any chance of success, you need to have both realistic expectations and a good plan. If you know you'll only be able to fly out to see each other a couple of times a year, don't tell each other you'll be able to do it every month.
Communication is the key to success
As for planning, you need to prepare how you're going to communicate with each other. Just a decade ago, an international call of any significant length would have cost a fortune. Nowadays, you can use Skype or many other services for free, and you get to see the other person too!
You should also think about what you're going to be sacrificing. It's possible that by being in a committed relationship with someone that far away, you'll be missing out on opportunities nearby.
Make those few moments together really count!
Although in my particular situation I was able to connect with my girlfriend and see her either every weekend or every second weekend, I strongly believe that the key to my success was my ability to give her 100% of my attention whenever we were together.
Even though at the time I had an incredibly busy lifestyle due to the business goals that I was working towards, by giving my complete attention to her those few days that we were together - I made them really special and memorable.
When we were together, I would completely switch off my phone, switch off the TV, and just focus on putting a whole week?s worth of love into my girlfriend.
Because I was so focused on the positives of the relationship, I never had to deal with the negatives! In fact, in some way, the short bursts of being together prevented us from experiencing some of the boredom other couples might have when they spend every day together.
There were never any fights, there were never any arguments, there was never a boring moment. So there is definitely potential for long term relationships to work, but there's also a danger!
Make sure you do it for the right reasons
Probably the best bit of advice on dealing with long distance relationships that I can give is to question your motivation. Sticking with a long term relationship just because you don?t want to hurt the girl, or because you're not ready to handle a breakup, is the completely wrong reason. Perhaps consider a scenario in which you can sustain your relationship, but you also give each other the flexibility of being able to see other people.
So I think the next step for you is to sit down with your girlfriend and get a really clear idea about what it is that she actually wants, about what you want, and then seeing if you guys can find some common ground.
I believe that understanding women and the way they think is of paramount importance when it comes to any kind of relationship, long distance or otherwise. As a result, we've devised a guide based on scientific methodology, to help you understand the mind of women, the female psychology, and how to get the results you want from your dating life. It took us a while, but it's finally ready - Pandora's Box!
http://vindicarlo.com/pandoras-box-2
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Category: All Articles, Articles, Broken Relationships, Dating Tips, Relationship advice
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